Monday, October 24, 2011

No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

Some notes I wrote on my Moleskine book while eating lunch at the Claim Jumper last Sunday. There is no such thing as a free lunch.  A year ago when he was still going to Golden Elementary, JJ got a Claim Jumper gift certificate for a free item on the kid's menu as part of some student award.  I know for a fact I had not been to a Claim Jumper restaurant since 2007 -- and really had no desire to go.  Super-size meals of at least 2500 calories ain't just my thang.  But that gift certificate had been sitting there and I thought JJ would enjoy getting a free meal for some of his academic effort.  So off we went to the CJ in Fontana, just on the other side of I-15 off Foothill Blvd.  My first clue should have been the fact that Claim Jumper AND WalMart share the same parking lot.
1) Tattooed dude at the salad bar putting together a 6-inch heap of vegetables and dressing
2) A 350 lb guy wearing tank tops at the salad bar
3) Tall guy in a suit with a lady in a nice dress.  Either they just got out of church or are real estate agents
4) Guy in orange shirt wearing what looks like size 30-inch waist pants but has a 50-inch beer belly.  How on earth does he do that?
5) Why are we eating here?  I could be enjoying a wild mushroom pizza at CPK.
6) Man in party of ten has what looks like an 8-in hole on shirt sleeve around his right armpit
7) Why on earth do they put mayo on the lettuce in my sandwich which is filled with a cashew chicken salad that is mostly mayo to begin with?
8) Ever heard of People of WalMart?  Well, I think there's a sister web site called CJ Clientele.
9) Do these people go to WalMart before or after they hit the Claim Jumper?
10) Why are we here?
11) Waitress seemed surprised we didn't order a 1200-calories dessert after eating our lunch
12) JJ's lunch may be free but I'm paying for it when I lost my appetite watching gluttons consume thousands and thousands of calories.  I didn't finish my cashew chicken sandwich.

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